Stuffed Animals, Children, and a Woman's Tears

I don't normally do this but this is the second day in a row that I am reprinting an article written on the subject of love by someone other than myself. I guess I will have to change my policy about what I post on my blog. I want people visiting here to be able to read the best self-love related articles possible and if someone can write about it better than I can, then I have a responsibility to my readers to reprint it here when possible. The article is by Nora Podkul who I have known since I was 6 years ago. It is a very sensitive, touching article on the subject of 'our best' not being good enough. I hope you enjoy Nora's article as much as I did - Frederick Zappone

When your best isn’t good enough!
 By Nora Podkul, Author of Tripping Over Enlightenment     
        

I woke yesterday morning in tears. I hate when that happens and fortunately it hasn’t been very often. Sometimes our dreams however have a way of playing out our fears. Last night I struggled with my fear of not being good enough, even though I honestly feel like I do my best. An innocent conversation about favorite childhood stuffed animals started it all. Who knew that was even possible, interesting how the brain works.

It all began with a conversation about “Green Bunny”, a grand-daughter’s favorite toy. Somehow we ended up talking about the favorite stuffed animals my daughters’ had as children. Enter Henry, the cute little dog with floppy ears and a missing eye, and Wilcox, a medium sized brown bear, with his neck severely severed and his face lovingly worn away. I’m sure you’re aware…. sometimes they don’t outlast the child’s desire to keep them.

I tried to save Wilcox and Henry since they meant so much to my daughters. Creatively and with a great deal of love and effort I attempted to prolong their life. I thought it worked since they both still have possession of them. Until that fateful day, two days ago, when I found out neither one actually liked what I had done and felt their prized possessions now resembled something from “Frankenstein’s” lab. All my thought, time and concerns weren’t seen for what I thought they were. But it was my best attempt at preservation.

Ridiculously this made my sub-conscious go to that dark place where my best effort has never been enough. I wrestled all night with the failure of my first marriage; how I daily disappoint those I love, the times I failed as a daughter and mother, those moments when I am not able to really help those seeking my aid, etc. I woke with sadness knowing I will never be the perfect person I wanted to be in this lifetime.

But then I saw the sunrise and heard the birds singing their spring song and realized none of that mattered. What does matter is the love behind what I do and the good intentions in my heart. It’s alright to be human and imperfect. None of us set out to disappoint others or ourselves, it simply happens for whatever reason.

The entire concept of doing your best is subjective because everyone has a different opinion of the best you can produce, which often conflicts with reality. My husband once said the worse thing a parent can tell a child is “just do your best” for that’s a curse. No one sets out to fail at something. It’s simply impossible to live up to another person’s dream. Still innately we desire to please.

So be your authentic self and go forward doing what spirit inspires you to do without judging yourself. Leave that to the afterlife review when you can look back without fear…..knowing you loved…. And you really did “do your best”.

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Article reprinted with the permission of the author, Nora Podkul,  Visit Her Facebook Page, Tripping over Enlightenment